Aug 22, 2008

The Motivation

"Do or Don't Do there is no try." ~ Yoda

That has been my motto for the past 7 months. These are not the arrogant ramblings of a sex crazed or sex deprived plus sized Monique fan, these are the ramblings of a Young, Black woman through the journey of losing I'VE NEVER BEEN SKINNY!!!!!

Today's truths:
1. Nothing tastes as good as thin feels ( how the hell would I know)
2. Overweight people have low self esteem (SIKE!!!)

Seriously, who comes up with this stuff!!

I guess by my Dr.'s standards, I am, overweight. However, on the side of town where I'm from, Decatur, Ga by way of Atlanta, I am what you call "Thick". So, when I decided to change my life and go for a healthier one...needless to say, it was hard to find the "motivation" or "inspiration". I have been a big girl all my life, I have had many nicknames from Miss Piggy, in the 2nd grade, to Fat Yellow Banana in the 8th-12th grade. I don't have low self esteem and I am confident in myself, maybe not my abilities but in who I am. I have ALWAYS had someone or someones to call my own and been married and divorced. I never really thought of my self as fat, overweight, obese, gross or disgusting. Just me, cute , thick with a big but and a smile...poison...(BellBivDevoe, now ya know).

2008 came and I decided that I wanted to loose weight. Got videos, got books, got the internet, don't got a reason, the motivation, the glue to make a typical New Years resolution stick. Sooooo, sitting in the bed with a Twix and a glass of Vodka watching Biggest Loser Couples and surfing the net, I go to one of the BL sponsers, (shameless plug, pay me). They have a 6-week weightloss challenge starting, so I joined in. It was interesting and very informative. I read articles, made friends and actually became interested in taking this weightloss thing SERIOUSLY!! One of the chicks I met on there talked about another weightloss site that she used, called (wait for it, wait for it) and unlike a lot of other weightloss sites its FREE!!! I took a little tour of the site and all that it had to offer and felt like it was home. I joined.

Spark has different tasks to complete to get you comfortable with the site and understanding your journey. One of them is a "Motivation" collage (for the special at heart: Picture). "What's my motivation?" IDK!! All the things, that I listed above, flooded my head as I searched for a reason, until finally, after a few days, I came up with two. The first I can't and won't talk about, it's sexual and Queen Latifah and might get me into some trouble with my partner (so, shh). The second reason was plain and simple. I want to know what Skinny bithches feel like!! I want to know what its like to have a stripper body not just in my lap or on my arm, but as a part of my everyday body chemistry.

So this is my motivation, to know what it's like to be smaller. To have a banging body and shop in stores that don't have a Super Plus section or charge an extra $2 for an extra X. So far I have lost 35lbs!!!! I am going to loose 65-70 more lbs!! This should be fun.