Oh How Thee Was Missed...

HEY YA’LL HEY!!!

No I am still alive and kicking !!!

No I have not given up.

Yes life kept me from blogging

OH HOW I HAVE MISSED THEE!!!!!!!!!! Believe THAT!!!

To make a loooong and way over told story short....

One week my office manager developed a kidney stone, went to the Dr and got diagnosed with kidney cancer  :0 . The next week she had surgery to have the infected kidney removed and, until today, has been out.

Which means, shit rolls downhill.  I was the office manager while the deary was away.

My job responsibilities increase 150%

My stress level increased 100%

My free time decreased 75%

This means I had to shift some stuff in my life and put some things on the shelf. Unfortunately, blogging took the hit.

I have spent over 2 months getting to work early,  no lunches, barely any bathroom breaks, taking work home, writing to-do list in my sleep, leaving work late, exercise 1 or 2 times A WEEK and making my kids and my sweetie unhappy with me. Booo!

I have only read one book, watched no movies and written no Blog Posts and I HAVE MISSED SO MUCH!!!!!

I missed my Swag Swap, So sorry it was awesome Desiree is/was even more AWESOME!…I may do a photo dump ( not really good at those)

I have me someone very special and they are very supportive and encouraging of my fitness goal…LOVE IT!!

Exercise over the last 2+ months has been consistently minimal.

I have made sure that I have gotten in some exercise in 1, 2 and sometimes 3 days a week.

I didn’t want to lose sight of everything and just be a slug. Plus, when I DON’T exercise…I feel like S- H- I- T.

Because of the new hectic lifestyle I meal planned and prepped. 

I gained 6 pounds and currently I have lost 2.4 so YAAAAAY!!!

I have missed the freedom to write.  I have felt like I had no purpose because I was not writing. 

I have missed my FELLOW BLOGGERS!!

I’m getting back in the water..ooowee it feels so good!

D.

If I don't commit to me, why should anyone else...

During many fitness journeys,  grinders use the first of the month to set goals and renew/revive/revise

 with fresh ideas and new point of view. Its no different for me today.

I have used my time off, away, in hiding, to pretty much get my shit together.

I’m human and I’m not perfect.  I NEVER for one moment thought starting continuing and living a fitness journey would be easy.  What I didn't expect was this crash.

When I say crash I mean, loss of will.

I have spent the past couple months trying to figure out how to get my mind back.  It’s like she has become independent of me and flipped me and my goals off.

So I took the time.  I did nothing. Well I won’t say nothing. I walked VERY LITTLE.  I ate and drank and not soda!  I drank vodka and tequila and lots of red wine YUM!!  When I tell you I am paying for it STILL paying for it, how, à  Bloated, water retention and 11lbs total gain.  ßThat’s how

I can feel the lack of exercise.  I’m sluggish, sex is horrible (well, orgasm: distinction), my joints are achy and my mood is shit.

I have worked really hard over the last year and to just stop and give up and give in, well I just can’t do that to myself…I love me too much! Even after I wrote my last post I still wasn't right and I knew it. I was in denial.

I have many issues Fear, Fear, Laziness, Fear.

Fear that I’m going to fail

Fear that I can’t do it

Fear that I’m going through all this for nothing

I realized that I was borderline depressed. And I knew when it started and why.

I had to confront one of my biggest issues. Deal with it so I could move FORWARD!

(Ok me bearing my soul moment here)

I had to talk to my ex. 

I started this journey, in part, because of my ex and I started this journey with my ex.(ex is 80lbs lighter)

My ex and I motivated each other, pushed each other and challenged each other.  We were each other’s cheerleader.  My ex was my accountability partner, pretty much, and we were each other’s trainer in a sense.  I would get those “How much water have you had?”  and “Did you do your squats?” texts.  We had exercise routines that we did together, trails that we walked and ran on.  I lost all that when the relationship changed and then ultimately ended.

I was missing something and feeling incomplete and I realized that loss impacted me harder than I was allowing myself to believe. So, I want and had a discussion with my ex and I left those feelings there.

With all that being said…Since then I have had to find deep inside myself the will to not give up on the COMMITMENT I made to myself just because someone else couldn't commit to me.

I’m going to step out my comfort zone and get this shit done.

I don’t want to live the way I have lived. Basically, I don’t want to be fat anymore. 

I have worked hard over the last year and I’m not going the let the progress and hardwork get flushed down the toilet over losing love…blah

August 1^st is a great day to begin.  Yeh it’s a Friday and yeh it’s the weekend…but everyone starts over on a Monday…I want to conquer the weekend and come in to Monday strong and undefeated!!

And since I’m a goal loving whorebag I have set a few, just a few…I’m still on that one day at a time tip, now I'm just kicking it up. I’m not concerned about weight.  I have weighed- in but I’m all about the non-scale victories!

August Goals

1. Move (a lot)

2. Sweat (a lot)

3. Eat Right (Healthy choices)

4. Sleep (no later than 10pm)

5. Move Forward

And that’s it.

If I do this and remain consistent I will reach the ultimate goal of looking good naked HA!  *shrug* 

Linking up with my favorite Friday folks Fitness Friday, Friday Five, Friday Favorites & Five Things Friday

D.

Hump yourself!!...

Yup! EVERY time.

Let me tell you a little something about MY self image.

It sucked when I realized that I was a chunky monkey and NEEDED to loose some weight.
It sucked when I looked in the mirror and looked 9 months pregnant when my baby will be 13 next week.
It sucked when the one I love would wrap their arm around my belly and could only make it half way.
AND
It sucked when, last Easter, I have to buy a 3X, XXXL, TRIPLE X, shirt to wear and it WAS NOT flattering.

The community I'm from, in the Atl (black), loves a plump, full-bodied, thick thighed, big boodied, cushioned, something to hold on to kinda woman.
It's not the healthiest but it's loved. HA!

Even with all the things that suck, in my head I'm already a size 10/12 :)
and after a good week of cardio and strength training I'm an 8 :)
It has been like this since I was in my 20's * shrug *

I LOVE me! (especially my boobs and my booty) HA!

Some days I lose confidence and have some self doubt, but EYE am in love with me.  I would date me and sometimes I do.  I enjoy my own company and I even Hi-5 myself sometimes...lol
It's so important to love yourself. Inside and out.

Please don't mistake this as me being arrogant, cocky, or conceited because no no no.
I love me but when someone else tells me I am pretty or have a great smile or that they love me...shy, modest,  embarrasment kicks in. 
I can think it allllll day, but no one else should be able to see it o__0

Why I feel that way?  I O E N O

As I continue on my journey, now when I look in the mirror I don't look 9 months preganant anymore.  I see strength. 
I'm now buying 1X (which is different than an XL) and I'm looking forward to being able to buy a Large
I'm not it that need-to-loose-weight place, I'm LOSING the weight.

I'm D and this is my self-image...lol

In other news:
I hit the trail again yesterday and  yes, again is was FRICKING AWESOME!
I got in a good 5.36 miles, good towards my #100milesin6 Challenge.
I am loving it!

It almost feels too good to be true, but I think Spring is really here.... shhhh... I dont' want to jinx it.
Its so hard to have that get up and go in the winter. 
Want to sleep, eat and hibernate. 
We MADE IT! * Drake voice *

5.36 miles. Need to get these brow done...humph

It's also one of my favorite days, I get to link up with Liz@ Fitness Blondie and Hump Day Blog Hop!

D.   

Fitversary FRIDAY!!!!!!...

I'm not going to make a big deal out of it. I'm just merely going to pat myself on the back for a job well done!

IT'S MY FITVERSARY!! (Awsomeness that it falls on Friday!)

I have gone 1 year with regular exercise and developing healthy eating habits!!!!
1 year setting goal and reaching most of them.
1 year working hard on this belly and this bootay!
 

I won't say that I didn't have a piece of cake or a donut or even a box of girl scout cookies, because I absolutely did.

I fell off the wagon, but not long

I got discouraged. I still do.

I have loads of self doubt but I push through it and work harder.

I loose confidence and sometimes I'm not as consistent as I should be, but then I wake up.

 

270 vs 223!

Things I have learned this year.

1. Thou shalt not covet.
• I spent  a lot of time in the beginning of my journey wondering why I didn't look like this person or why couldn't look like the next.  I was loosing my confidence and I was self loathing because  I didn't believe I could do what some one was doing. NOT anymore.  I now have a fuuuuuull understanding that everyone's journey is COMPLETELY different and that my path will not be the same.  I have to Love D and continued to work hard.
2. Time Limit?
• I thought that I had to "Lose 100lbs in a year". I thought that I had to hurry up and get the weight off to accomplish a certain milestone. NOPE! The end game here, is to be healthy and fit.  As I continue learning and leading a healthy lifestyle,  the weight will come off.  I have been a full-figured beauty all my life...I'm not rushing the process.
3. I CAN DO IT!
• I spent A LOT of time sabotaging myself. "what am I thinking?" "I'm never going to loose this weight" Thinking and believing that I didn't deserve to be healthier. Not to mention that every time I would miss 1 workout or have a brownie I would almost give up.  Instagram helped me  a lot.  Every motivational post seemed to speak to me. Telling me not to stop, to keep pushing, a setback is not the end of the world.  The biggest one Mental Discipline, battling my own NEGATIVE thoughts and dispelling them.  Learned to believe I can accomplish my goals and that I am 100% worth it!
4. Eat This And In that order!
• Food WAS a MAJOR obstacle.  I knew Protein/Veggie/Carb,  but SNACK!! WTF man! Eat 5-6 small meals as opposed to 3 big normal sized meals, say huh say what!? After months of failed food decisions I figured out what worked for me. I know what fills me up, what bloats me, what is BORING and what to avoid!  I know there is more to learn but I'm happy with my results so far!

I am in the middle of my journey and very happy with what I have been doing and sooooo looking forward to what the future holds. 

A year from now I would like to be reporting that I'm a runner. (tuh!)

A year from now I would love to have touched someone's heart and have INSPIRED the hell out of them.

A year from now I'm going to be even stronger than I am now, happier than I am now and healthier than I am now.

 

Yeet!!

 

 PS: CHECK MY NEW BLOG DESIGN!!!!!!!! Hubby Jack is the awesomest!!! Thank you!!!

D.

 

 

New Month, New Goals...

So February is donezo! March is a remarkable month for me.  My fitversary is in March. It's a great time to  reevaluate and set mah goals for the month!

Read this on activebeat.com

"Aim to Understand Your Motivation
No one would ever deprive themselves of the things they loved without a practical explanation. It’s like saying, “stop eating junk food for no reason at all!” What I mean, is that while you keep your eye on your larger goal—to lose weight for your wedding—let your eyes catch understanding glimpses of why—to live a longer, healthier life with the person you love."

I will say "stop eating junk food", but I will not deprive myself.  This leads me into my goals for March but in a weird way. 
With that being said let me get straight to it...

March Goals

1.   Deeper Commitment  I'm good and commited.  I just have not been pushing as hard as I was in the beginning.  I'm sure it's becasue of the weather. However weather ir not..I am recommitting to my healthy lifestyle. 100% I'm not near where I want to be but I can be closer and will be. Boom!

2.   Schedule Healthy/Fitness Weekend Time My weekends are a FAIL.  Not because I eat out of control but becasue I dont have a plan.  I don't have a set time for workouts or eating.  So I'm going to remedy that this month.

3.   AM Workouts been the goal for the past 2 months....ugh...still working on it

4.   Drop 8-10lbs

Not overzealous, just enough.  I have specific things that need to get done this month and this is not the time to overwhelm myself.

This week also begins Week 5 of T25 Alpha!!! Meaning its the last week of Alpha and then I begin BETA!!!! So this week blogs will consist of me talking about my T25 Alpha, my burn and how I feel about each workout now compared to the beginning!

Thank GOD Spring is coming!

D.

Salutations...

Welp! It has been 2weeks.  Oops.  I had my birthday and got L-A-Z-Y!  I  JACKED my goal to write 31 days straight.  It wasn’t hard however it became and chore and I don’t want this to become a chore.   So, even though I missed these last 9 or 10 days I’m going to give a recap of everything I can remember since my birthday and a wrap up of January goals.

 1/22

Thanks Brother!

Thanks Mother!

I was my birthday! I turned the big 38! I own it! I’m so thankful to be at this age and I wouldn’t go back for SH!T!! I’m beautiful and on the road to a healthier, sexier me! BOOM!  I got some AWESOME birthday gifts.  A Polar watch!!! I will now know without confusion how many calories I’m NOT burning…lol I also got T25! *stands on soapbox* I am so excited about both of these and how they will be used together to further my health goals and weigh loss victory!!

 

 

 

1/23

Went to work hung over. HA!
It was rough…ROUGH! …and that’s pretty much all I remember about that day.

1/24-1/27

Not much happened … I got a mani/pedi & sushi with one girl friend and had DRINKS and chips and dip with another.  Weighed in on the 26^th to find I had gained .4ozs.  Bummer. L  I drank some water and went back to sleep.  HA!

Even though I was on vacation from my job I still had my good ol meal prep food…I only over did it with the drinking.  I’m not a fruity drink kinda gal but I am a vodka kinda drinking gal and BOOOOOOOOOY did I have plenty vodka.

It was also Meal Prep Monday! I am enjoying meal prepping!! I love having my food ready and available.  It has also afforded me the ability to EAT MORE VEGGIES!!  Like, I’m having 3-4 veggies per meal. It’s truly awesome. 

1/28

HA! Atlanta SHUT DOWN!

Was an awesome winter weather day in Atlanta! It was walking dead around here! The snow hit so quick that the Metro Atlanta area was in shock! It was pretty and pretty bad. People abandoning their cars, People walking miles to their homes, children and teachers trapped at schools and my favorite the ignant (and yes I meant IGNANT) ass’s that were loading cars on stolen tow truck and STEALING THEM! Ugh! So after finally getting home safely with the kiddies, I worked out enjoyed my prepped meal and slept like a baby in the womb. “NO WORK OR SCHOOL TOMORROW!”, said Metro Atliens!

1/29

 

My front yard after the snow.

Awakened to a beautiful Winter wonderland outside and cold as the North Pole on Christmas Eve.  My son went outside, threw 1 snowball and came back.  Jack Frost nipped at his butt.   I finally put my Polar watch to some use.  I did two workouts.  AM was some Leslie and late afternoon I tried this SWEAT workout that I downloaded a couple weeks ago.  It was created by this really inspirational chick Dawn Archer.  She has a story to tell.  It’s a cute Zumba inspired workout that really makes one SWEAT! I liked it! Drip! Drip!

 

 

 

1/30 – 1/31

Half days of work no school and having to feed my rug rats 2 extra meals while they were out of school… I continued Exercising and eating right.  January ended. Ho hum! Even now as I write I can really remember those last couple days.  It ended good! 

At the start of the new month I weighed in and revisited the goals that I wrote and shared with you guys. I accomplished more than half the goals I set out to. 

What didn’t happen:

Couch to 5K  HMMM I started it a couple time in the beginning of the month but my hate for treadmills took over 99.8% of the time.  It was sooooooo boring even with the playlist and programs I downloaded. BLAH!!  So I’m going to put this off until the spring when I can go outside and enjoy nature and not get frostbite. I’m ok with my status on this goal. Grade: D- I burned a few calories with the starts…lol

Too Inspired Walking Challenge Welp I just forgot to update the group on my workouts….lol  So I completed the challenge just didn’t follow through Grade: C- on that one.

Write EVERYday. EH well sorry.  I felt really bad about this.  I want to write everyday but I want to exercise and spend time with my loved ones too.  So, going forward I’m only going to write twice a week, minimum.  I want to write everyday but I know that is unrealistic and rather than disappoint myself and all 1 of my followers, 2 or more times a week should get it done! Grade: D+ because I did make it to the last week.

 

That pretty much sums up January.

On the 1^st I weighed in and the total pounds lost for the month of January is/were/ are (hell IDK!)  8.8lbs !!!!!  I also lost 1 inch around my waist. BOOM!  My goal was 10lbs but I am thrilled with 8.8! HELL who wouldn’t be!  I credit the meal prep and focus.  You HAVE to eat right. No if, ands or buts about it.  What you eat and when to eat is so important. Without the meal prep I would have been all over the place and that could have been +8.8lbs.  I’m happy and I’m proud. I started the year on the right track!

 D.   

Follow me in Instagram @fatPHATgirl

 

 

It's a Celebration...

 38 years ago the heavens moved and the mold was broken... An angel was born! MEEEEEEEE!!!!
It's my BIRTHDAY!!! I love my birthday!! I have been waiting a year for this to happen! My birthday last year kinda sucked.  I didn't do anything. I didn't even have sex nor was I sex offered. HA!  Which is not my usual! I enjoy fun and having a good time...don't know or remember why it reeked... OH WELL! New Year, New Birthday!!

This year I have taken it upon meself to invite a few friends and associates out for a night of fuckery... Karaoke!!! Hip-Hop Karaoke to be exact! I'm so looking forward to it. I have never done Karaoke before. The Evite is sent out to the invitees states "Singing is REQUIRED!" HAHAHAHA! This should be fun!  I have gotten some  "I'm not singing." texts and have promptly responded with "Please don't come." HA! I crack myself up, but I'm so serious...party poopers suck! WHY come to a karaoke bar and not KARAOKE!!!

Even Google knows it my BIRHTDAY!! 

Im going to have a wonderful evening.  However, I won't mess up toooo bad.  There will be no cake and ice cream only vodka and tequilla.  :)  I won't over do it but I will enjoy my birthday evening after spending the day at work, working.

Have a FABULOUS evening all!

 

 

 

 

Just D.



Progress...

I rested this weekend. I did nothing. Well I do squats.  I love the 30 Day Squat Challenge.  I do it monthly.  I have heard that challenges like these are effective for building muscle. That one is only learning to lots of squats in a row and they aren't effective. WELLLLL, when I do this challenge I do sets/rep.  50 squats I do 5 sets of 10, 100 squats I do 4 sets of 25 or 10 sets of 10. It just really depends on how I feel. I break a good sweat, my thighs and bum are extremely sore and I wish I had before and after pictures.  I already a and ba donk ka donk ! Now its donkier...lol!!  nothing could make me stray.HA!

My birthday is this week. I'm looking forward to it.  Well I love birthdays.  Its the only day that just about you. It's a celebration of YOU!  Needless to say I'm excited and no matter my age I will still love it love it...it wasn't just any other day when my mom was in labor so why should I treat it that way!

In other news: Yesterday was WEIGH-IN DAY!!!!
To review.  Last week I planned my menu and I meal prepped for the week. Fantastic! It the one thing I didn't have to think about nor was it going to be an excuse as to why I didn't get my GOOD workout in OR spend  Meal prep was a success! Grab pop in microwave and eat.  I didn't have a reason to not workout. It was also easy to make sure I got in 4 or 5 servings of veggies a day...NO EXCUSES!!!
So to the big news....  I woke up, emptied my bladder, washed my hands and got naked.
I lost 4.8lbs!!
This makes me happy! Glad to see that the work I'm putting in is producing results! BOOM! I don't expect this to happen weekly, no, no, no. I don't ever expect it but when it happens WOOSH!!

D.        

 

Duh...

A few months ago I found myself scrolling through my Instagram, looking at before and after photos, transformation photos and status posts. I was thinking things like  "why am I not loosing faster?"  "we weigh the same, why don't I look like her?" "Maybe I should try this Herballife stuff" HA! ... I would also unfollow folks that I was tired of seeing...petty I know.

 I even found myself a little jealous that my partner got to goal weight  and I was still struggling  to get to mine.

 

A couple weeks after that started (divine intervention) I started coming across inspirational quotes and posts that talk about, not comparing  my journey to someone else's.  When I thought about it, it hurt me more to have those negative thoughts and negative feelings. It messed with my confidence not believing that I was working hard enough or that I would never be where that person is.  I started looking in the mirror and speaking ugly to myself (out loud, like a crazy). 

It took a little while, but I had to believe in ME. Believe in my ability.  Believe in what I was working to accomplish. I had to believe that what I was doing was working for me. I had to understand that, that's someone else's journey is not mine. We don't have the same metabolism or DNA. We don't eat the same food or have the same workouts.  Hell, didn't start on the same day! That's why I 'm taking it One Pound at a Time, One Day at a Time.

What works for me and my mind and my weight loss is patience and self love. I love how my waist is coming through and how my booty has a better curve.  I love how my clothes are getting to big!  That's how I know I'm doing right by me.  I LOVE ME SOME ME!! I have plenty of time to loose this weight.  I have had it all my life. Boom!

Lots of inspiration...

Blog I'm Liking Today
http://primaljourney.blogspot.com

Have a Fabulous Weekend!

D.          

Gratitude...

T25 Core Speed Day 2!!! Did it again last night! It was pretty awesome!  I was able to follow along and keep up better.  The sweat was REAL folks!
I really pushed myself.  A lot of the moves that require jumping, thrusting, criss-crossing and I allowed my body to do all of them.  I felt strong after and proud of myself.  I did it and I didn't give up! It's an awesome feeling!
Today I'm sore and its that gooood sore.
That, gives me a sense of accomplishment kinda sore.

 In other new...

This morning I found out just how favored I am.  The kiddies and I.  We were traveling our normal route to school and work this morning. Drove over an ice and lost control of my car. It's a 2 lane, winding road. My kiddies were holding on to the seats and door arms and I was screaming while turning the car in the opposite direction of the spin.  The car swerved from side to side then spun around in a circle. While continuing to move u the street. I was thinking "please don't go in a ditch", "please don't hit that mailbox","please don't go into that house". 
Needless to say I was scared as heezy!!
By Grace, we landed on the side of the road in a utility driveway!!! Jesus DEFINITELY took the wheel.  No cars were coming. No school buses. I put the car in drive.  I sat there shaking and close to tears. The kids were alright.  I could hear them taking deep breaths. After a minute or two I put the car in drive and pulled out and got my kiddies to school on time.
I just thank Him!

Count your blessings! I'm counting mine!

D.